Xavion(X): “There you are. What are you doing in the eBay staging area?”
Mandi(M): “I’ve caused you enough trouble. I thought the least I could do is pack up my box and get ready to go. I know you hate me and can’t wait to get rid of me.”
X: “Who told you that?!?”
M: “....Capricia.”
X: “What did I tell you when you first got here?”
M: “(Sigh) ‘Don’t listen to Capricia.’”
X: “Okay, then.”
X: “Besides, if I wanted to get rid of you, then why would I buy you all of this cool stuff?
M: “That’s for me?!?”
X: “Yep. Now let’s get your belt undone, and start putting you together.”
M: “Ex...excuse me?”
M: “Oh my God! You’re going to put me in one of those raunchy lingerie outfits aren’t you?!? What am I going to tell my family?!?”
X: “Trust me, Mandi. I don’t want to have to explain to MY family what you’re doing dressed in lingerie any more than you want to have to explain it to yours, so that’s not something you ever have to worry about here.”
M: “O-okay.”
A few minutes later...
M: “I’m SO sorry. I should have known that you have only the best intentions with me.”
X: “That’s okay. I can’t blame you for being a little nervous. So this is a replacement holster for your Glock. It’s exactly like the original...which in retrospect probably wasn’t such a great idea. I reinforced it with double sided tape, but try not to mess with it until I can get you something better.”
M: “Gotcha”
X: “I had to cut the sewn in gloves out of your jacket sleeves. There was just no other way your hands were going to stay on when wearing it. I did get you two pairs of gloved hands from a parted out Villa though, and I was finally able to fix the bottom of your jacket.”
M: “This is great! Thank you SO much!”
X: “No problem. Let’s get your tactical vest and cap on and your assault rifle.”
M: “Are you sure that’s a good idea? That assault rifle has been the source of a lot of your frustration with me.”
X: “That must be why I got this for you.”
M: “Oh...WOW! Is this a E&S HK 416?!?”
X: “Yep.”
M: “Now you’re just spoiling me! I LOVE it!”
X: “Well, I did get you one last thing. I know you feel like you don’t really fit in with the other girls, so I’m hoping this will help.”
M: “It’s huge! What on Earth is it?!?”
X: “Open it!”
M: “Ummm...there’s nothing in here.”
(Tap, tap) “Hey, Mandi!”
Cara (C): “Surprise!”
M: “Oh my God....a Sister Flower Police Python Camo Villa?!?”
C: “Well, technically...but since I have a feeling we’re going to be BFFs, let’s just go with “Cara”.
M: “You have no idea how happy I am that you’re here! This is the best day ever!”
C: “For me too!”
C: “Wow, this place looks cool!”
X: “So are we good, Mandi?”
M: “We’re GREAT!”
X: “Good. Well, I’m going to check in on Capricia and the rest of the girls. I’m sure she’s thrilled about all of this.”
M; “I bet she is! Good luck with that!”
X: “Gee, thanks.”
M: “C’mon, Cara...I’ll give you the grand tour!”
C: “Cool!”
